Fun with Search Terms!



[Zin Kenter] Hello, I am Zin! Since I am new to blogging, I have fun with strange things, like statistics. WordPress provides many fun statistics, most of which I do not understand. But I love looking at “Search Engine Terms” because some of them are so strange, I do not know how they ended up on this blog at all! And sometimes they are just strange. Or they ask questions that are funny. Or questions I want to answer. Or questions I want to learn the answer to! So I am going to tell you about my favorite Search Phrases from the past month or so. Most I have taken verbatim, so there are typos and strange grammar. And Greek! Some are search terms that do not quite fit or are funny; some are questions I can answer but I do not know who has asked them; some are questions I can not answer, some are questions that have shown up many many times (most of these are about Top Chef), and some are English students trying to do their homework without actually reading the story! Silly Students! Do your homework, read the story! It is not that hard! And many of the stories are wonderful!

Search phrases that do not quite fit:

overtime recompense – sorry, different recompense.
récompense cpa – ditto.
silence exercises for kids – is this the thing where you see who can stay silent for longest? I am not sure what post it led to.
idiom-if a man can’t tell his pancetta from his pecorino, he is inadequate – I would say this is absolutely true, since pancetta is a meat and pecorino is a cheese. But I have not been able to find an actual quote like this, maybe it is in Italian? That would be cool!
as if she were a huge fish and we were fishermen I am very disappointed that I could not find anything that closely matched this, because I think it is wonderful! I have no idea how it led to our blog.
magician pulling out fashion models I love this image! But it led to the Rao Top Chef episode which had nothing to do with magicians or fashion models but did contain the words (and she did refer to Blais praising Fabio as a magician pulling something out of his hat at the last moment, which is better than pulling something out of his ass).
the whores child by richard russo – this is an actual story and author, but the wording could get Richard Russo into a lot of trouble!
songs with the word guilty in it- 2010 – someone needs to learn how to google.
tree – About 492,000,000 results found. I am surprised. I would think it would be much more.
100% – About 6,420,000,000 results found. And I will bet s/he still did not find what s/he wanted.
επεισοδιο παρτυ 15 μαρτιου 2011 – The best I can do is “episode party 15 March 2011” but I do not know what that means! And I do not know how this could possibly lead someone to my blog – it is in Greek! I do not type Greek! I do not know Greek! Could it have something to do with that damn yogurt commercial?

Questions I can answer but nobody is there:

what does a chef use for putting his serve of soup into a dish that starts with l I am yelling “LADLE! LADLE!” but you can not hear me!
im greedy for his calls what doset mean – it means you will end up crying.
can you buy baby artichokes in supermarket – No, the hardware store. Ok, I am sorry, I am being mean. Yes, you can, but they are not always available especially if you live outside of artichoke country. You might do better at a farm stand but it depends on where you are. I found them (once) in my supermarket and I hope they come back because they are wonderful, all the artichoke fun and none of the hassle!
how do i know if i should quit online poker because i am greedy – I think the question contains its own answer.
when does the tiny wife kaufman come out – It is out! It is out! See Madras Press! Buy it! It is wonderful!
what knife does curtis stone use in his shows? – Curtis Stone is a fool. He and Gordon Ramsey should be thrown into the sea.
the twins off social networks real name – In Real Life the Twins are Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss. Yes, that is their real name on court documents as I understand it. In the movie they were once referred to as the Winklevii which is very cute but they probably do not think so. They were played by one actor in the film, Armie Hammer, sort of: there was a stand in, Josh Pence, and Armie was superimposed later saying the lines if both twins were in one scene. I suppose that is easier than finding twins who fit the bill.
are you going for a beer – No, Robert Coover already went for one.

Questions I can not answer

+reason for a donkey to die ( suden death) – I suppose this showed up on this site because of the Steve Almond story review “Donkey Greedy, Donkey Gets Punched” which involves no donkeys but poker players. If you have lost an animal and want to know why, try a veterinarian, or a veterinary web site. The best I can find is colic and cardiomyopathy but both of those have to do with horses not donkeys and I am not sure if there is a big difference in medical terms. After all, people and pigs are similar, similar enough to use pig parts to repair human heart valves and other organs. If you are doing research for a story, a veterinarian is even more important!
aimee bender’s email address – Try her web site, which comes complete with guest book which you can sign and if you leave your email address. And just because it is a cute web site. And Aimee Bender is a delightful writer! Try “The Third Elevator” if you do not believe me!
was there a episode of paula deen that she used five pound of butter – Was there an episode in which she did not? For those who do not know, Paula Deen is a TV cook and specializes in Southern food. She makes the French look health conscious. A pound of butter is like a pinch of salt to her. I find her very annoying. But I would probably love her food!
a dog goes swimming at the beach and then shakes himself all over to get dry. what principle of physics aids in the drying process? – Do not confuse us with a Physics website, even if this collection of words does, somehow, call up our What If? writing exercises. But there are Physics websites out there that answer this! Hint: centripital force and surface tension might be some of it. But do not take that as an answer!
antonia on top chef what restaurant in beverly hills did her family own – I do not know, it was not stated in the show and I could not find it doing a quick search. And I am not interested enough to look for a 20 year old restaurant. But I am sure someone was interested enough and if you look hard enough you will find it!
tell me how to put mustard on fish and fry it. i’ve heard of it but i don’t know how? I have never heard of it, but I do not like mustard. It seems you can add prepared mustard to the egg/milk you dip the fish in before breading, or you can add powdered mustard seed to the breading itself. But find a recipe site from someone who has actually cooked this way.

Things a lot of people wanted to know: Some of these I can answer. Some I can not. But a LOT of people wanted to know:

(Top Chef) Didn’t Tiffany get married? Tiffany (from Beaumont!) talked a lot on Season 7 about how she was about to get married as soon as she went back home after the contest. Then on Season 8 there was a family episode and her mother came instead of her husband. I thought this was odd too, but I figured it out! The family episode was about making the family tree for the chef, and her mother would be much more helpful than her husband to do that. Or, it could be that her husband did not want to come or could not get time from work or something. I do not know. This was not addressed on the show. It is possible it will be addressed on the Reunion episode, since so many people (really, I think there were maybe 100 versions of this question over the past month on my blog alone!) want to know!
(Top Chef) Did tiffany get a divorce – See, now this is how rumors get started!
(Top Chef) What was padma wearing in any given episode, and/or who designed it – I mention her clothing when it is striking or she looks unusually beautiful or dumpy (she looked dumpy once, yes, she did, in Season 7, towards the end, she wore a green terrycloth towel wrapped around her and pretended it was a dress and she had flab popping out over the top, it was awful! And then there was the awful green pants she wore in an episode in Season 6 but that was just the ugly color). But I am not interested enough to figure out who made it. She said in a very early season that she wore her own clothing. If you really want to know, pay close attention to the credits and see if there is something like her wardrobe furnished by X. I do not think so, though.
(Top Chef) What is the recipe for pea salt – I have not seen an actual recipe, but on Jimmy Fallon after her win, Carla took dehydrated peas, some kosher salt, and whirred them around in a spice grinder for a few seconds.
(Top Chef) Why did Antonia not win the Paula Deen quickfire? You were not paying attention, you twenty people who asked this! She did not win because the assignment was to make two plates and she only made one! They always always make at least two plates, one beauty plate that can sit under hot lights and putrefy but look nice for the camera, and one to eat. Pay attention next time!
Who is speaking in / who wrote / who did the music for the fage yogurt comercial I eventually answered all these questions in the post or the comments. Willem Dafoe is the voice over actor. Brian Tierney of Mullen Advertising in Boston wrote the copy (and was creative director for the spot) and Guy Amitai wrote the music. Now can we move on past the yogurt commercial? Yes, it is cool, we have all seen it now and I have been answering questions about it for two weeks and I am tired of it now so let us get on with our lives.

Students trying to avoid reading the book/story

write 3 questions about the story axis by, alice munro that don’t alow the anwser to simply be a “yes” or “no” anwser – I will give you five questions: 1) What or who is the axis of the title? 2) What does the dream mean? 3) What happens to Grace after the embarrassing intrusion? 4) Why is Royce such a meanie to Avie on the bus? 5) Would it not be easier to just read the story and make a list of the questions? It is not that long! And there is sex in it!
the hollow lasdun theme questions – I am thinking there is a teacher out there telling students to come up with questions for all these stories. Or maybe more than one teacher? Themes of “The Hollow” aka “Oh Death” include man vs nature, suburbanization extinguishing rural life, the differences and similarities between us, and reading the story for yourself instead of googling for your homework assignment.
cousins charles baxter criticism comments, what is the main idea of the cousins by baxter, interpretation “the cousins” charles baxterDamned if I know. And I had a whole writing workshop commenting on it! But it is a good story!
what is the symbol in the paranoia by said sayrafiezadeh? You mean there is only one?

Thank you for coming, I enjoy seeing people visit! By the way, I got a PROMOTION! I am no longer a Contributor, I am an Author on this blog! But it is not because I did such a wonderful job, it is only because it is easier!

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